perfectly honest

I think I loved you at some point. But, if we're being perfectly honest here, I've caught myself wondering if I ever really did or is it something my memory created for me. I can't remember how loving you felt.
I can remember sitting on the old white school chair, the one with the little picture of the cartoon girl on it that I've had for as long as I can remember, and you'd say things to me that my insides twist up and I'd collapse against the back of the chair. That memory is the only proof I have that we were actually in love.
But do you remember how I told you that you were the only person who has made me feel like that?

Well, I lied.



photo credit - unsure, found on audrey hepburn complex

avon

I went for a long walk today. I've gone for walks along the river many times but I've never gone past the cluster of willow trees at the corner before. I walked and walked, following the twists and turns of the river and missing out the cracks in the footpath. I walked until the sun set and the cold wind started to give me that dull familiar headache, then turned around and walked home.
Then I had a nice, long bubble bath and listened to City and Colour.



photo credit - tiger's touch

how does it feel

When I moved to the city I took nothing with me but a lungful of dreams and my battered old suitcase. I found a place to live, a job, friends. There were new things to think about. It didn't take long for those dreams to go to the back of my mind.



photo credit - unknown! D:

sentiment

You could see it in her eyes, the way she stared at you and the way she watched you walk away. Looking back at her friends she'd laugh and pretend that she'd been looking at something else. You know why, of course she couldn't come clean. Nobody ever does.




photo credit - kennedy holmes

kill me

Holding the gun to your head, I leaned forward - just close enough that I could smell your aftershave and hear your slow, deliberate breathing. My finger tightened around the trigger and I whispered: "This is for all the times that I tried to tell you. This is for when you broke my heart. Drive faster."

You drove faster.

When the sun began to rise and the stars began to fade I made you pull over. Keeping the gun pressed firmly to your temple, I kissed you one last time. I could taste the fear on your tongue. "This is for when you broke my heart."



photo credit - christophe kutner

synthetic

I know what I want to say but I can't say it because then you'll know how I feel.



photo credit - myself

I know time's gonna take it's toll

Maybe I made a mistake. I should have known when to walk away, when to stop and think. I know there's no point trying to take it all back, because I can't.
Last night I poisoned myself, and then I poisoned you too. You're brilliant. But there's somebody else on my mind.



photo credit - myself